Entry 4: Lyrical Pronunciation and Farmer’s Only

Welcome back for the 4th installment of my regular blog entries.  I struggled a little bit with topics this week but I think I managed to still put out quality topics. That being said, if I continue to struggle I may move my updates to once every two weeks. Please, hold your tears, it’s for your benefit as well as mine. I’m doing this because I care. Now on to the bread and butter!

I’d like to talk a little bit about music. Before you ask, no I’m not going to talk about Taylor Swift, Justin Beiber or Nicki Minaj.  I’m also not going to talk about auto tuning or dub step. I realize that if I did  I could produce an entirely new category solely dedicated to how shitty today’s music is but I’m going to tackle a less talked about subject. Pronunciation. Now before I get into it I know that some styles of music; like screamo, heavy metal and rap, require a certain amount of exposure before you can tell what they’re talking about.  That being said, if your song hits the top 10 of any “current hits” chart we better be able to understand what you’re saying.  I can excuse the random dubstep/Nicki Minaj mash up; but seriously, if you’re at the top for a couple of weeks and the chorus has a line that no one can understand, you need to reconsider your lyrics. One recent song I’ve heard, and that I refuse to find the title for because I can’t understand what the hell they’re singing, has at least 4 different interpretations. During this chorus I can hear: 1.) Sexy loving 2.)Sexy nothing 3.)Sweet loving and last but not least 4.) Sexy oven. Talk about making no sense. Really artist? You’re living on sexy oven? Good Lord learn how to pronounce words in the English language and for Christ’s sake spend a little more time in the recording studio. For all our sake’s. Now I’d like to talk to you all about dating sites. Well, one in particular.

My next topic is one that might be of use to all you lonesome ranchers out there. FarmersOnly.com. The commercial starts off saying that God created farmers on the 8th day. OK I won’t dispute or complain about this too much, the Bible doesn’t say anything about the 8th day.  That being said, God could have created chocolate pooping leprechauns on the 8th day for all we know, but I’ll let it go. The ad continues with the importance of farmers by saying “after all, no farms, no food.” This I won’t dispute, and if you try to we may have an issue. After that the commercial states that on the 9th day the farmer was lonely, so farmersonly.com was created. This dating site is for “small town American’s across the country.” This commercial gets a few things right, mainly that most farming communities have a strong connection to small town America and to Christianity.  But what self-respecting small town American is going to go to a nation wide website to find their soul mate? If I’ve learned one thing while living in rural Minnesota it’s that those who grow up in small towns and plan to use farming as their career do not plan on moving halfway across the country for a girl they “met” on the internet.  Likewise, a small town girl looking for a “simple living” (don’t get me wrong, farming is not simple at all) isn’t going to move 4 states over for an online profile, a couple hundred acres of land, and a combine. Now on to some real humor folks!

Alright well another week is in the bag! Music and Farmers were covered this week. As always if you’ve got any suggestions for topics I’m open to them. Any comments and critiques are also welcome. Thanks for all feedback and views! I hope at least some of you are starting to look forward to my updates. Again any shares, comments, and critiques are greatly appreciated. I hope I brightened at least some of your days! This is RantingGrant signing off!


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