Monday Mini-Rant: Retail

For those of you who have ever worked in retail you know that there are 2 deciding factors in whether or not you hate your job. 1.) your coworkers and 2.) your customers. In order for the first factor to not make you hate your job you must assume the second factor makes you, and everyone you work with, hate their job. There’s nothing more infuriating for an associate than a coworker who goes above and beyond for a crappy/rude/angry customer and then doesn’t complain about that customers behavior after they’re out of ear shot. I know that “the customer is always right” is usually what we try to operate by but if you enjoy catering to jerk customers well… you and I aren’t going to get along. I’m not saying be a jerk, I’m saying be polite, do your job, and then realize how absurd and childish the customer was acting. Now onto the customer. If you’ve never worked in retail, PAY ATTENTION!! We are not just dress codes and name tags, we are real people with superiors and chains of command. No, we can’t override a price at the drop of a hat because someone else incorrectly signed the merchandise. Be patient, respectful, and don’t interrupt us while we’re trying to do our job. Believe me, one of the most important things in retail is customer loyalty and satisfaction. Test our patience by being rude, talking over us, or demanding to speak to our superiors and we take it personally. We don’t care anymore if you get that extra $2.00 off. Just be civil with us and treat us as humans, not as machines or faceless drones and we will do our best to satisfy your needs. In short, don’t be a dick and you’ll most likely get what you want, within reason. That is all, now you’ve been educated on proper customer etiquette. Don’t thank me, thank the next retail associate you come into contact with for doing a thankless job very few people put up with for very long.


Monday Mini-Rant: Billboard Music Awards

I originally had a completely different topic to talk about but I didn’t think this could wait. Last Night ABC aired the Billboard Music Awards. First of all, Nicki Minaj won best rap artist. Are you kidding me? I’m pretty sure I could throw some pop bottles, coins, writing utensils, shoes, and nails into a dryer and come up with a better rap song than her. This woman doesn’t rap, she talks quickly and very unintelligibly. How in the world did this cross of a gremlin and an oompa loompa win an award? Now I’m not fond of rap in general but umm… Mackelmore anybody? Naw, maybe we should award the moron who typically has one set of lyrics in her “song.” Now my favorite part. Justin Bieber got booed!! Quite noticeably too. He won the first ever “Milestone Award” given to an artist for “musical ingenuity and innovation.” Ingenuity and innovation? None of the nominees exhibited these behaviors. While watching the footage I actually felt a little sorry for the guy, then reality set in and I realized it was Justin Bieber. Music awards and music in general have become a joke. Seriously? I’ll highlight some of the more absurd winners and who they beat. One Direction beat out Maroon 5, Fun, and Mumford and Sons for group/duo of the year. Umm… I’m on the first page of awards and already grateful I didn’t watch the show. Top Social artist? What kind of made up award is that? When did they give children the responsibility of writing this crap? You aren’t going to believe this. Mackelmore wasn’t even nominated for best rap artist. What? What the hell is top EDM artist? I think I need to read the dictionary or something. I need to try and reinvigorate some brain cells after reading that recap. I may never watch ABC or listen to the radio again. Maybe somebody should put together a real awards show. One that doesn’t glorify autotune and dubstep as the future of music. But then again, anyone who would watch a legitimate awards show has already given up hope for one.

Entry 8: Gun Control and Some More Stupidity

After a long wait I’ve finally found my way back to my keyboard! Yay!! *miserable grumblings from the crowd* Ok since I’m not taking classes during the summer I will have much more time to write and much more time to post. So I will finally be able to stick to my original time table. Mini-Rant Monday’s, Regular entries on Wednesday and probably some more upbeat or light weight posts Friday or Saturday. Friday and Saturday might not be every week but we’ll see. Ok enough of the update, on to what you came for!

As a continuation of my Monday rant, which you should check out, I’ve decided to tackle gun control. Let’s see, yes guns and ammunition sales should be restricted, no they shouldn’t be completely banned, (which no one is trying to do, but we’ll get to that soon) no I don’t want to put a fully automatic assault rifle in the hands of any random person, yes I think people should be allowed to have as many rounds in their magazine as they want. As far as I know the legislation that’s being tossed around is to require more in-depth background searches in order to own firearms. That I’m in favor of, no problem at all. The fact that we don’t have strict enough background checks already astonishes me. Now, onto the whole banning guns thing. To my knowledge there is no legislation being discussed that would entirely ban firearms. Yet. Every hunter/sporstman/outdoor enthusiast and dare I say redneck will argue that it’s background checks today. Tomorrow it will be magazine size and by Friday the FBI will be knocking down my door to seize everything that uses gunpowder, including that dynamte you made on Minecraft last night. If you don’t understand that reference, don’t worry about it. This is what us Philosophy majors like to call a “slippery slope argument.” The same argument is commonly used to oppose gay marriage but we’ll save that topic for another day. Or never. Now for an easy representation. A, b, c, d, e, f, g, h, i, j, k, lmnop, q, r, s, t, u, v, w, x, y, and z. You see that little blurb in the middle without comma’s? that is a slippery slope. Now the problem is discovering which letter background checks are. The A? The G? or the K? I don’t know. I doubt there’s any single person who knows. Just my two cents but I’d like to believe that people are smart enough to think about what they’re saying before spouting off nonsense about “the man” coming to take their weapons. Which brings me to my next point. Stupidity!

Alright before you object, I know I’ve talked about this before but apparently it’s so prevalent that it just never ceases to exist or show its ugly head every opportunity it has. This time I’m not talking about specific cases, just stupidity in general. I’ll use one age old case I’m sure you’ve all heard of. A woman spills coffee on herself, gets burned because it’s hot, sues McDonalds, and wins. Seriously? Ok apparently it was “hotter than it should have been.” Did they put lava in your cup? And how would anyone know how hot it was? “Ouch I just burnt my arm because I spilled my coffee on my arm because I’m a clumsy idiot! Better check what temperature it is!! LOL!!” Sounds like a bad Instagram post. Next, who spills coffee on themselves as an adult? What adult spills in the first place? Did you forget to check that habit at age 7? Ok I’m not saying I’ve never spilled anything as an “adult” (I’m still a kid at heart, always will be) but in public? “But Grant! Maybe somebody bumped her!” Ok, did she sue that person as well? “Maybe they didn’t put the lid on tight!” Did she sue the person behind the counter? Believe me, stupidity doesn’t exist on a small scale. Just look around, you can probably spot an idiot or two. I just did and unfortunately all I can see is a mirror. Yes believe it or not even I am capable of acts of stupidity. Shocking, I know.

Guns and stupidity. A winning combination right? Nothing bad ever happens when you combine those two! Might as well throw in some alcohol and discover a cure for cancer. Oh well, I suppose all a guy can do is whine to the internet community and see who listens. Like I said in the beginning tune in on Monday’s and Wednesday’s and probably Friday’s. Take time outta your day to check up on my little pet project and I’ll return the favor. Happy Wednesday everybody!

Monday Mini-Rant: Violence and The Media

Yesterday I had the privilege of driving 3 hours to see my Mother on Mother’s Day. While flipping through the radio stations I came across a disturbing phrase. Mother’s Day Massacre. My hopes that this was a poorly conceived B-List horror movie were quickly dashed away while the newscaster described a scene in which a gunman in New Orleans fired 6 or 7 times into a crowded parade injuring as many as 17 people and placing at least 3 of them in critical condition. I listened to the rest of the newscast for the first time in years and there were 4 or 5 other stories. One of them didn’t involve violence. One appeared to have ended peacefully. A gunman was successfully taken down while the 3 children he had kidnapped were safely rescued. The ending  took a turn for the worst. The mother of the children and one of their siblings were discovered dead in the house. Preliminary reports stated that she had been killed as many as 2 weeks earlier. Totals for these stories? 4 dead. 3 permanently traumatized. Over 20 hospitalized and 3 in critical condition. Those are the facts, more or less, my numbers may be off a little but you get the gist of it. Ok, where to begin? No seriously, where do I even begin? Thankfully it was just a news update and not an “in depth” analysis of the causes of these tragedies. May have smashed something in my car or chucked something out the window and accidentally blinded a squirrel. I’m not sure if news reports just glorify this type of news or focus on it because it draws viewers. It could also be that this type of behavior is becoming more prominent and widespread. Either way, something needs to change. I’m sick of these mentally disturbed/angry/homicidal people being shoved in our faces and down our throats. I’m sick of avoiding news networks because I have no desire to be depressed every time I turn on the TV. Stop, there is enough to deal with in our own personal lives, we don’t need to be shotgunned with horrible news. Unfortunately, we’ve been so desensitized to all this violence that these are just numbers to us. I hate to say it but if the first words I heard on this station weren’t “Mother’s Day Massacre” I would have kept on flipping through. By the end my jaw was as far down as physically possible and every hope for humanity that I had was whisked out the window. Thankfully it was Mother’s Day and I got to see a good friend, eat a good meal, and spend time with a great family, my family. The drive back home was more optimistic. Heard some good music, had some positive thought trains, and resolved to listen when spoken to, think when it’s quiet, and speak when I have something important to say. Not to toot my own horn but more people should do the same.