Welcome back everyone! As always thank you for taking time out of your busy days to read through the random thoughts I have throughout my day. I’ll keep this intro short and sweet so as not to annoy you any more than usual. This week my topics all stem from one drive from good ole Kerkhoven to my new home in Marshall. This routine, uneventful drive, is so mundane that I often tune out and just think. Until of course, someone makes me change my cruise speed, and with that, let’s kick it off!
Picture this. A nice long stretch of highway ahead of you. Nothing but a straight away and a scenic landscape. You see a car approaching in the opposite lane. It’s moving rather slowly, but there are only 2 cars in sight so they aren’t holding anyone up. As they approach, you realize they are going about 30 MPH in a 55, you see that they are an old (probably married) couple. I had thought that with the ridiculous prices of gas that the Sunday stroll would have ceased to exist but this particular couple proved me wrong! These soldiers of the old guard truly appreciate how relaxing it is to drive through the country at a leisurely pace and just not give a crap about who’s behind you. Flash forward 30 minutes, I’m stuck behind some tourist from Iowa going 55 in a 60. Seriously? 55?! This I can handle, it’s not the worst thing in the world, especially since there’s a passing lane coming up. I’ll just bide my time and fly past when I get the chance. These two are mild cases of Sunday Drivers, people who aren’t in a hurry to get anywhere, they just wanna enjoy their ride. Now let me tell you about the 3rd car I saw on this ride.
Alright, a Sebring, probably some middle aged soccer mom. 52 MPH down a straightaway with no cars in sight. Ok, this works, except we’re in a 60… a convertible on top of that. Why is the top up? I didn’t even know Toyota made a car that could pull the top back. You’re on a long trip and… you… have… the top… up?… Ok I know it’s not a sports car or a muscle car but come on, you own a convertible, TAKE ADVANTAGE OF IT!! Especially since you’re on a long drive. alright, convertible nonsense aside, remember when I mentioned that I though the driver would be a middle aged soccer mom? I mean, it is a Sebring after all, let me move on to the meat of this paragraph. I finally get to pass this individual who is unworthy of a convertible and what do I see? A middle aged, tatted up man sporting a PONY TAIL!! Hold on just a second. You have a pony tail and you’re driving an economy car? WITH THE TOP UP?!?! Hold on buddy. Let me start off by saying men SHOULD NOT HAVE PONYTAILS!!! That being said, men sporting pony tails exist, it’s an unfortunate truth, but one that we must face. So if they have to exist, I’d like to lay down some ground rules. 1.) You have to own a Harley right now or at some point in your recent past. 2.) You have to be tatted up. 3.) You have to smoke cigarettes or cigars. 4.) You have to love beer. 5.) You have to hate your job unless it’s working with cars or bikes. 6.) You basically have to be a badass. What you do not do is drive 5 MILES UNDER THE SPEED LIMIT IN AN ECONOMY CAR!!!! What is wrong with you?! Do you really think you’re a rebel cruising down the road in a Toyota Sebring with the top up?! I don’t even know how to fix this. It’s just so… twilight zone-ish that I don’t know how to correct it. Toyota Sebring + Male Pony Tail =/= anything I want to be a part of. It just doesn’t.
Alright now that I’ve expressed my frustration at… well… random people I encountered on the road I’d like to once again thank all of you for reading my random thoughts and experiences. As always I’d appreciate any and all feedback that you may have. I mean it. Even if it’s just a FB message or random text I appreciate all feedback. I hope I didn’t bore any of you and I hope you enjoyed this weeks entry. I said it a couple of sentences ago but I’ll say it again, let me know if you have any feedback or any topic suggestions you’d like me to tackle. Have a wonderful week. You’ll hear from me next Monday! (Maybe sooner)