Category Archives: Regular Entries

Look for a new submission every Wednesday or Thursday. If the quality is suffering or I find it too time consuming to post every week I’ll switch to every other week.

Entry 20: Closing Time

It has been A LONG time since I’ve written anything for you guys and I’m sorry for my impromptu hiatus but I’m back! Last Friday the employees of the Marshall Kmart were handed a giant “!@#$ you” and were told that in July we would all need new jobs. Alright fine our store is closing, whatever, I never planned on being a career man. The riff is that I’m not leaving on my own terms. I’m leaving because some corporate stooge decided that we “weren’t profitable ENOUGH” to continue to be employed. (Yeah, our store has had increased sales the past 2 years, but I digress) Anyways! Here we go.

My first reaction was disbelief and a general IDGAF feeling. (For those who casually view the internet IDGAF stands for I don’t give a *expletive*) As the days rolled on I realized that this wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. I graduate around the same time our store is set to close. Wait a minute… no job, no girlfriend, no concrete reason to anchor myself in Minnesota. Hmm… after May I will have a college degree and almost NO OBLIGATIONS. Huh… I have family all over the country, as well as friends. I… actually… wanna leave this place. At least for a little while. Once I realized this I felt a sense of freedom, a sense of adventure. I’m a 23 year old man (read child-at-heart), I don’t wanna settle down yet. I don’t want to “plant my roots.” I want to experience what the rest of the states, and maybe the world has to offer! I really don’t know where I was going with this paragraph but who cares? I’m free!! But seriously, any suggestions for a place to live for a year or two are more than welcome.

Topic 2! Customer reactions and corporate expectations. First off, the reactions about our store closing have been awesome! Even the negative ones, the ones who “saw it coming” realize that the blame can’t be entirely placed on the people within the store. Lets be honest, Kmart hasn’t updated anything in their stores since… who knows when. The supportive ones have actually made me look forward to interacting with customers. Sure their sympathies don’t help me financially or land me a new job but the fact that some people care is encouraging. Now, on to the not so nice people. To the guy who called in to confirm what he heard on the radio and read in the newspaper (the fact that our store was closing) then asked a question and THEN cut me off when I started to answer his question with “Oh wait. You don’t care, you won’t have a job come July anyways!” (Sorry mom and dad) FUCK YOU!! No one in my extensive retail career has made it more difficult for me to force a smile than you. NO ONE!! I’m serious. If I could punch someone through a phone… I would have. Don’t be a jackass just because our store is closing. Once the “shock” period was over I actually put more effort into my job on a more consistent basis than I had before. Why? I want to show all the desk jockeys that they were wrong to close us. You still want us to get a 4% enrollment rate? How about 10%? 70% on our loyalty program? Why not hit 80%? Oh wait… we’re going to give up because we’re closing… that’s right. I forgot. My. Mistake.

Alright folks it’s been a while since I’ve posted but hopefully I can start to do this on a more consistent basis. Monday and Wednesday updates for sure. Friday’s might be a bit more difficult because they take a bit more thought than my other entries. Again, mom and dad, I’m sorry for the language in this one but random punctuation marks and symbols don’t always cut it. For the dedicated, look for a Monday Mini-Rant on… something… this coming Monday. Thanks for tuning in guys.

Entry 19: Pets and the Word of the Week

Welcome back ladies and gentleman! One of my resolutions this year was to post on a more regular basis. So far I’ve managed at least one a week and hopefully I’ll be in full swing shortly. This week I struggled with things to talk about so I asked my readers to prompt me with ideas. Some of you (2) responded. Thanks! Without you I probably wouldn’t have an entry today. Based on one of the suggestions I’ve decided to move my future posts to a different schedule. Thursday will now feature my dedicated, 2 topic, weekly post. Monday will continue to feature the Mini-Rant. “What about Wednesday?” you ask, and rightfully so. Next week will be the first official “Word of the Week Wednesday.” During this segment I will describe a word, and what that word means to me, without actually using it. I will then rely on your responses to determine what word comes to your mind. Hopefully by asking you to describe one word I’ll receive a larger degree of feedback that I can use as a catapult for other topics. This week I’ll give you a teaser and describe a word. All that I ask is that everyone who views that segment puts their guess at the word in the comments section, either here or on Facebook. I’ll post what word I had in mind on my Facebook page on Saturday. Alright! On to the meat and potatoes. (Jeez that was a long intro [I’m sorry])

Growing up I had numerous pets. Most of them I, unfortunately, neglected. I had dogs I didn’t train and goldfish I didn’t feed.  This leads me to one conclusion: I am not a very good pet owner. That being said, pets are something that are near and dear to the hearts of a lot of people. They can double as pest control, hunting partners, and even emotional support for those with mental issues. Cats eat mice, dogs retrieve ducks and penguins (yes people have pet penguins, and for the record, if I ever have a pet, that’s what I want) just freaking rock. Then there are these people.

Uhh… why is that dog wearing clothing? Pretty sure the only reason humans developed clothing was because we lacked fur… which… dogs already… have. Seriously? That’s just the first picture… the precious pups in pic’s 2 and 3 have… jewelry. Ok I’m not an expert in “bling” but I’m pretty sure the dog doesn’t give 2… something’s… about how shiny their collar is. First… people put clothes (an unnecessary burden given the presence of fur) and jewels around their necks and on their bodies. I don’t care if they’re diamonds or glass around that corgi’s neck… there is still a high chance that he will eat his own barf. Bedazzle that why don’t ya?

Alright! The first official “Word of the Week.” The idea here is that I’ll describe a word without actually using the word and you, as the reader, comment either here or on Facebook what your guess of the word might be. Also, for the one person who knows the first word, don’t spoil it for the rest please and thank you. 😀 Alright here we go. This word isn’t an exclusively human attribute, surprisingly. The prime example that comes to mind is the story of the dog in England whose owner passed away. The dog used to walk with his owner to the train station the owner used to commute to his job every day. The dog would then return home for a period of time. Nearing the time of his owner’s return, the dog would walk back to the station and await his owner’s arrival. After the owner passed away, the dog continued this ritual for quite some time. He didn’t go when his owner was supposed to leave because his owner wasn’t there to lead him but he would return around the time his owner should have arrived at the train station. “Why would the dog do this?” you may ask; because of the word I have in mind. Another example I can use, one that is more human, is when someone asks for “thoughts and prayers.” When you think about it, and I mean REALLY think about it, wouldn’t you rather have vaccines and surgeries before thoughts and prayers. Hear me out; vaccines, surgeries, pills, patches. These are all tangible things. Real things that exist in the world. When is the last time you saw a thought or a prayer? Thought bubbles exist in comics but in the real world thoughts are personal and outside of our own thoughts, we have no knowledge of what someone else is thinking. Yet this idea that positive thoughts and prayers can have a physical and realistic impact on what happens still persists. We have come to believe that positive thoughts and wishes of others can affect the real/physical world.  Why do we believe this? Why do we think that the intangibles of other’s can enhance our own place in life? The word I’m thinking of can answer that. There is one word that can explain this paragraph. Do you know what that word is?

Believe it or not I’ve just conceived a new weekly entry. Follow Up Friday. Friday will be the day I reveal what word I was thinking of on Wednesday and what my definition of that word is. So let’s see what we’ve got: Monday Mini-Rant, Word of the Week Wednesday, Weekly Entry Thursday, and Follow Up Friday. That’s a tall order to fill… stayed tuned, the schedule is subject to change. That being said, thank you to everyone who was able to trudge through my ramblings. I hope you enjoy the new segment and I look forward to hearing your reactions as to what word I had in mind. I appreciate any and all feedback. Anyone who has made it this far is awesome and deserves a high five. *HIGH FIVE*

Entry 18: Phil Robertson and Family

Well the year is now 2014 and welcome back to my little pet project! I say pet project because I’ve been too lazy to regularly update like… I… promised. Never fear! I’ve been hurranged into writing again and a few people actually griped about me not staying true to my word about posting regularly. With that in mind, let’s kick off 2014 with a bang! By bang I mean all of the hub ubb surrounding Duck Dynasty and one Phillip Robertson.

Phil Robertson did an interview with GQ magazine (who might be the real winners in this whole ordeal.. when was the last time they were relevant?) during which he made a few pointed remarks. Remarks that got under some skin in some places. The leading question, the “teaser question” if you will, is “What, in your mind, is sinful?” Ok, ask a conservative redneck from the south what is sinful and you expect… the politically correct response? Ha! Good one. Phil replied with “Start with homosexual behavior and just morph out from there. Bestiality, sleeping around with this woman and that woman and that woman and those men. Don’t be deceived. Neither the adulterers, the idolaters, the male prostitutes, the homosexual offenders, the greedy, the drunkards, the slanderers, the swindlers—they won’t inherit the kingdom of God. Don’t deceive yourself. It’s not right.” Ok liberals you’re right he did say that he believed that homosexuality was a sin. He also said IN THE VERY NEXT SENTENCE that bestiality was wrong. Why isn’t the ACLU swooping in on this nugget? A man who is featured on the most popular reality television show EVER speaks out against sex with animals and no one causes an uproar?! Simply outrageous… Ok. Maybe having sex with animals is a stretch, they can’t verbally give consent so we won’t fuss over someone who doesn’t endorse that. What did Phil say next? “sleeping around with this woman and that woman and that woman and those men” Hmm… he’s talking about one person sleeping with more than one gender and more than one individual. He’s already talked about his view on homosexuality. In this situation he’s not specifically talking about homosexual relations though, he’s talking about multiple partners. That sounds a lot like promiscuous behavior. Sleeping around just for the sake of sleeping around. Ok so… why aren’t people up in arms about that part? Oh wait… I know why. It’s because homosexuality is THEE HOTTEST TOPIC IN THE WORLD TODAY!!!! After ya know, overpopulation, famine, the economy, the middle east… etc etc etc… but no! We need to talk about a 2nd rate cable channel that airs a tv show about people with beards who make duck calls. My bad, news channels you were right. Lets talk about Phil for a few months. On to the next topic!

The fallout from the whole “Phil Robertson hates gays” thing is just the jumping off point. A magazine (of which I don’t know the name of because I work at Kmart and don’t care about pop culture) had a short piece, one page, on the Duck Dynasty controversy.  They threw a little square on the front page to say “Look at us! We’re talking about Duck Dynasty!!” and admittedly, it did catch my attention enough to read the article. Basically, everyone in the Robertson family is behind Phil 100% The article even states that Willy, the man most likely to disagree with Phil (because he’s more business/public image/politically correct minded) didn’t turn on his father. So basically any opinion that a member of the Robertson family expresses is not going to be denounced by the family members. Which leads me to one conclusion. The second highest (behind God) power in the most popular reality TV show to ever exist is family. Not money, not fame, not screen time, not advertisements. Family. I was once asked to do something for one of my siblings, I don’t remember the specifics and they were probably boring anyways, but I had asked someone else why I’d go out of my way to do that and the response was “because they’re your family” and I immediately felt like the worlds biggest *expletive* because I didn’t realize sooner that your family is one of the biggest, most important, most influential entities that you will ever encounter in your life. And that you should be willing to do anything for them. So… the next time your home from break or have some free time and your mom or dad asks you to sweep the floor or clean your room (I’m looking at you Nate, Nik, Emma, Magnus, Conor, Claire, Colleen, Austin, Ethan, Ivy, Luke and Gene) just do it. It’ll take you 5 minutes and save both you, your parents, and your uncle a headache. 😀 Oh and by the way… I love all of you to death.

Alright I think that’s been enough for people to handle. Two paragraphs about conservative America and ol’ fashioned values?! Lets not get carried away here. I need to keep my liberal readers (of which i have none) interested. Keep checking on my page if you find what I have to say worth reading. One of my New Year’s Resolutions is to post content more regularly and I plan on keeping this one. I hope you all had a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!

Entry 17: The Burden of Proof and Atheism

As some of you may know I finally cracked and posted about God and Christianity yesterday. It certainly received more attention than I thought it would have. I shouldn’t have been surprised, once someone starts talking about God others are quick to join the discussion. Tonight I’d like to address 2 comments I received that I thought warranted more than a Facebook response. The first is where the “burden of proof” lies when talking about God or a creator. The second is when I carelessly used the words “arrogant” and “ignorant.” The context was slightly misunderstood and since it was a close friend that brought it up, and honestly, sounded quite offended, I thought I’d address it here.

First off, the burden of proof. When considering “truth” the farthest we can take this discussion is whether or not a creator exists. After that, the only arguments you can make are based on faith. So, does a creator exist? Look around you. Do you see anything that did not come from something else? When the “burden of proof” is brought up I think of one thing. Which side is making the most sensational claim? Creator vs. Coincidence. Most people’s gut instinct is to say Creator. Who in their right mind would think that there’s some unseeable, unrecognizable and unprovable thing that made everything? Some entity outside of our known realm of existence that made everything we see around us? Sounds pretty far-fetched if you really think about it. Hold on just a second though. Let’s consider the other side of the conversation for a second. Coincidence. Atheists believe that there is NO creator. Anywhere. at all. Hmm… let’s consider what that means. Atheists are saying there is absolutely no realm of existence in the universe, no single example of space or time where a creator could exist. None. Well, in order to claim that, and claim that it is irrefutable, someone would have to have complete knowledge of everything ever. Is that not a more sensational claim than to say a creator COULD exist? It’s “I don’t know everything and that leaves room for the existence of a creator” vs. “there is no realm of existence in which a creator exists or could exist because I have absolute knowledge of everything that shall ever exist. Ever” That last ever was just for dramatic effect. Which brings me to my next point. Atheism.

Atheism. The definition according to Merriam-Webster is “a disbelief in the existence of a deity.” For the sake of argument I’m going to address the phrenology of the word. Theism is the belief that one or more deities exist. Atheism translates to the belief that deities, in any form, do not exist. It excludes the existence of all deities. ALL deities. Atheists are essentially saying they have complete knowledge of the universe and that nowhere in the universe is an example of what might be considered an act of a deity. That sounds incredibly arrogant to me. To claim to have absolute knowledge of everything ever? Come on. The other side is that they just don’t care. Which is the ignorant side. Those who claim they’re atheists because they just don’t care about whether or not a deity exists are just as incorrect as the Atheists who seem to claim they know everything. If you’ve ever looked at something that was created, say a can of pop, and not recognized that it was created, you are ignorant. If you’ve ever seen something that exists and refused to believe that it came from something that existed before it, I question your intelligence. I challenge anyone to provide me with an example of something that exists that they can prove came from nothing. Give me one example of something that came from nothing. I dare you.

My post about God existing was meant to draw attention but it wasn’t meant to alienate people. I merely wanted to spur discussion about a topic that people previously thought they didn’t care about. Judging by the number of responses I’ve received in the last 24 hours it appears that people do still care about the existence of God. I encourage any feedback you have but I must say I’d prefer it in the form of a Facebook message. This would allow me to keep the different branches of debate separate and address each reaction without muddling them with other reactions. I look forward to hearing from all of you. Don’t worry, my inbox is prepared this time.

Regular Entry 16: 18 Things Everyone Should Start Making Time For Again

Before you worry about having to read 18 long, rambling paragraphs-let me first assure you that I will not be tackling the entirety of this list. I stumbled across this list that was posted by one of my High School English teachers and the list makes a lot of good points. Here’s the original post: http://thoughtcatalog.com/brianna-wiest/2013/11/18-things-everyone-should-start-making-time-for-again/#K04tzGcK4rpcF0bD.01 I will be tackling #3: Thinking Before Responding and # 11: Spending Time With Kids. I encourage you all to check out the full list

Ok. #3: Thinking Before Responding. Here’s the author’s full entry. “Thinking before responding. We’ve become too conditioned to require things immediately. Someone asks a question, and we have to respond that second. Such was not the case before instant messaging and comment threads. A sign of true intelligence and confidence, I think, is someone who takes time to consider the question at hand in a little more depth, and then offers a response.” Now let’s not blow this outta proportion. Taking time to think about the appropriate response to “What’s my total?” isn’t exactly what I had in mind. The problem with taking time to do this is that opportunities to think before acting or speaking never present themselves anymore. No one cares about the deeper issues, all they care about is their routine. Wake up, go to work, run errands on Wednesdays and refuse to think outside the box every step of the way. When’s the last time you took a different route to work? Tried a new restaurant? Brought up a topic that other people might not agree with? When is the last time you broke the norm and tried something new? When is the last time you prompted a discussion that forced another party to think before they spoke? The weather, the price of gas, the local High School’s latest victory or defeat. These have become our default exchanges. They may have their place but come on, God gave you a brain for a reason and it wasn’t to discuss tomorrow’s chance of precipitation. Here’s an idea, the next time you think “this topic/latest current event/latest tragedy is really bothering me but I don’t know how the person across from me feels about it so I’m not going to say anything about it” SAY SOMETHING ABOUT IT!! The reason real issues get brushed under the rug are because we are too afraid to go against the norm. We’re too afraid to have and voice an opinion that may upset others. The next time you see the chance to light a fire in a conversation, do it.

Alright it’s time for this post to get a little lighter. #11: Spending Time With Kids. The original author says: “Spending time with kids, and doing kid things with them. They just know what’s up.” They just know what’s up. This might be one of the most accurate things I have ever read. Somehow, without an explanation, this statement just… makes sense. Kid’s just get it. Playing with kids, heck just being around them, somehow makes everyone… happy. Working in retail I see tons and tons of screaming, whiny, entitled kids on a daily basis. Kids crying and throwing a fit because they didn’t get a lolly pop. This is why I’m glad I don’t live in retail. The kids I see, the children I enjoy being around, are completely different. When people mention children the first thing that comes to my mind are my nieces and nephews. The first thing I think of when I think of my nieces and nephews, is a pickup game of baseball during one random summer. They don’t know the rules, they don’t know what to do, and they don’t care. Neither do I. The only thing I recognize and remember from this game are their smiles. I somehow hurranged my siblings into “playing baseball” which was way out of their comfort zones, but they did it for their kids. I smiled and laughed, my siblings smiled and laughed, my nieces and nephews smiled and laughed. My point is this. No matter how cranky/crabby/whiny/entitled or seemingly selfish children seem to be at their worst; when they experience joy and happiness there is no better representation of true joy. When a child smiles, laughs, and has fun; there is no stronger positive emotion in existence. So when you see a kid crying, just remember, when they’re happy, any amount of sadness just disappears.

In conclusion: the list I posted has a lot of good things going for it. Out of the 18 things the author reported, there are a lot more than 2 that I have something to say about. That article may be the foundation for at least a few more of my regular entries; we’ll see how this one does. Just remember, those who are slow to speak and even slower to anger are the people I believe we should try to emulate. Thinking before speaking has a huge advantage over a quick reaction. Also, don’t forget that it’s hard to frown around smiling children. That’s all for this week. I’ve got a lot in store for the days and weeks to come… and I mean A LOT!! For now, thanks for reading what I’ve got to say. Thanks for commenting and suggesting new topics. You will hear from me soon.

Regular Entry 15: Philosophy and Scornful Looks

Welcome back lads and lasses! It’s been a while, like usual, but have I got something good for you. In recent weeks I’ve realized that I’ve been ignoring my greatest asset, my philosophical mind and way of thinking. Disclaimer: I’m not going to claim to have all the answers and I’m not going to bombard you with absurd “Why?” “Why not?” questions. What I’m proposing is that you interact with me on the weeks (and hopefully months) to come. Give me a question, hypothetical, political, religious, whatever you want, and I’ll try to give my best argument regarding the situation. Don’t worry, there’s going to be at least a little humor in this entry, hopefully. So let’s begin!

Philosophy. A bunch of “intellectual elites” discussing things that don’t, and never will, matter. Right? Wrong. I’ve had more than a few people scoff at the idea that I’m majoring in Philosophy. “What’s a Philosophy degree good for? Nothing!” Heard that statement more than once. While you may be entitled to your opinion, so am I. The reason I decided to pursue a degree in Philosophy is because there ARE NO FACTS. The “hard sciences” (Chemistry, Biology, Mathematics, etc.) are all just the regurgitation of facts. You’re taught something, told to memorize it because that’s the way things work, and to spew it up whenever it becomes applicable. They don’t depend on your ability to innovate or discover, they depend on your ability to recall and reiterate. Philosophy majors and enthusiasts are taught to think outside the box. “But Grant, thinking outside the box doesn’t make me money, it doesn’t provide for a family.” If you are persistent enough, it does. Do you think J.R.R. Tolkien, J.K. Rowling, or Orson Scott Card gave up on their passion and forfeit their creativity because it wasn’t the easiest way to a pay check? What about Stan Lee or Malcolm Wheeler-Micholson? Does the name George Lucas ring any bells? They didn’t make their names household ones by holding back what their minds were capable of. Creativity isn’t worthless, it just takes more work to live on than most other characteristics.

Ok now that I’ve expressed my disgust at the immediate dismissal of Philosophers, let’s move on to something more grounded in every day life. My current retail position, Service Desk Supervisor, is a thankless one, and that’s ok with me. My thanks is the pay check I receive. What I’m not ok with is the ridiculous looks I get from people who are third in line to check out. Seriously? You’re going to give me a death glare because you have to wait 5 minutes to check out? Oh? You’re on your lunch break and trying to cram 2 errands and a meal into a half hour of spare time? My mistake. I didn’t know that your life was SO BUSY that you weren’t able to pack a lunch, (which would cost less than that combo meal you’re scarfing down in the middle of the store) go to the bank, (online banking, open 24/7/365) and get back to work on time. It’s not that I want you to have immeasurable patience with every retail person you encounter, it’s that I want you to have respect for the people who are doing their best to assist you. Don’t stare me down because there’s a person in between you and the opportunity to pay for your stuff. Calm your… jimmies… and stop thinking you’re better than everyone else.  Show the person who is forced to smile and accept the “fact” that “the customer is always right” (which they aren’t by the way) some respect. They’re human, not a machine you kick and abuse to get to work. You aren’t dealing with a name tag and a dress code, you’re dealing with a human being who deserves respect.

Ok. I think I’ve found a nice groove this week. I’m a Philosopher and a scorned retail worker at heart. All jokes aside, don’t underestimate people who are willing to think outside the box and (more importantly) DON’T BE A DICK TO PEOPLE IN RETAIL. (Or to people at all) If you combine these two things, they really do go hand in hand. Thinking outside the box helps you to realize that retail positions suck and the person occupying that position is still A PERSON!! Looping back to Philosophy, my main, underlying, and prevailing “philosophy” is “don’t be a dick.” I know too many people don’t tend to operate that way but I hope they start to. Stay tuned to Philosophical Friday. There WILL be a new entry. Some of you may like it, some of you may not. Like I said in the intro, if there is any topic you’d like me to tackle, and I really do mean ANY, send me a message, a comment, a text, whatever you want. I love a challenge and I’ll tackle them as they come. Until Friday, keep on ranting, and don’t be afraid to think outside the box.

Regular Entry 14: Oh My God Becky Look At Her Butt

Alright I said on Monday that I had big plans for today’s entry but this is just too amusing for me to pass up. Hopefully a song kicked off when you read this weeks title and if it didn’t you might be too young or too sheltered for this one. This week is gonna be a little different but hopefully just as entertaining. But that’s enough for an appetizer, let’s get to the entree.

The title is the opening line to Sir Mix A Lot’s classic hit “Baby Got Back.” If you haven’t seen it or only vaguely remember it here is the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kY84MRnxVzo And before you ask, no I don’t know what’s with the alligators. While this song/video were edgy as hell at the time if you listen to anything but the chorus you might change your opinion. Before I actually payed attention to the lyrics, which I hadn’t done until today, this song just sounded like a black guy trying to get with girls with big… behinds. I would have continued to think this but I found the one Youtube comment that’s actually worth reading. “This is actually quite a good song for a lot of women to boost their self-esteem. Hear me out – he raps about Cosmo calling women with curves fat and how he is apparently not down with that.” courtesy of Jibriltz. Upon further exploration I find lyrics like “I’m tired of magazines, sayin’ flat butts are the thing” and “I ain’t talkin’ bout Playboy, ’cause silicone parts are made for toys” Wait wait wait… rap lyrics can actually have meaning?… So he’s saying that flat… rear ended… women aren’t his thing and that he likes a girl with a little, excuse me for using the obvious phrase, junk in the trunk? Huh? So… you mean my first impression was wrong?! How… how is this possible? So a black man rapping actually has socially related lyrics that have implications that endorse acceptance for all different types of people?! Is this man in Congress yet? No, he’s not. Assholes who shut down the government and then get together the next day to talk about the government shut down are in Congress. I’m not saying Sir Mix A Lot is the next incarnation of Shakespeare, I’m just saying he may not be as shallow as a lot of people believe.

Not of that generation!? Fear not, a new proponent of the posterior has arisen! His name is Flo Rida. His single is “Can’t Believe It.” Here’s the video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-WDcpwZqYlU Listen and view at your own discretion. The chorus leaves the same taste in my mouth as “Baby Got Back” but the differences lie in the verses. Consider, for example, the poetic lines “Telling all the girls, all around the world, my last name must be Robin, ‘cause I’m basking in these asses, all thirty flavours keep calling,” or “Ustedes saben quien es quien; Mira salinga con toda esa…; Como tu sabes estoy loco.; pero que bueno que era poco,; Mami mueve los coco.” I don’t know what the hell that second one actually means but judging by the popularity of this song it must be a statement right up with the solution to cold fusion. Lyrics don’t get much better than that (at least not these days). Hold on just a second, I’ve saved the best for last. I’m about to reveal to you one of the closing segments of this song. Please try to contain your excitement, it may be difficult, but please try. “Babu I am bam, baram bam baram babu I am bam, baram bam baram babu I am bam, baram bam baram babu I am bam, baram bam baram.” Wow, if those lyrics don’t speak to you… I don’t know what will. It almost brings tears to my eyes. Please excuse me for a second… *cries uncontrollably*

Ok, *sniffle,* I seem to have collected myself enough to close out this entry. I hope you leave this entry a more educated and evaluative thinker. The first topic shows why we should be skeptical with first impressions and the second shows why we shouldn’t. “Grant, if you present me with conflicting ideas, which one do you truly believe? Why should I listen to your opinion if you don’t know what your opinion is?” I don’t know, and that’s the point. 😀 Basically, I hope this entry, as is my hope with every entry, has spurred you to think more and to behave automatically less. Thank you to everyone who has read my ramblings, which has recently surpassed 1000 views, and may you continue to be Granters. On a final not, I cannot express to you how grateful I am to have you view my works over 1000 times, honestly I started this thinking I’d receive 2 or 3 views on each entry, and that those views would come from family members. I thank each and every one of you and if I could I would deliver that thank you, in person, with a firm handshake and a solid 5 seconds of eye contact (that’s all I can really afford right now.) Thank you. I’m out.