Tag Archives: Music

Regular Entry 14: Oh My God Becky Look At Her Butt

Alright I said on Monday that I had big plans for today’s entry but this is just too amusing for me to pass up. Hopefully a song kicked off when you read this weeks title and if it didn’t you might be too young or too sheltered for this one. This week is gonna be a little different but hopefully just as entertaining. But that’s enough for an appetizer, let’s get to the entree.

The title is the opening line to Sir Mix A Lot’s classic hit “Baby Got Back.” If you haven’t seen it or only vaguely remember it here is the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kY84MRnxVzo And before you ask, no I don’t know what’s with the alligators. While this song/video were edgy as hell at the time if you listen to anything but the chorus you might change your opinion. Before I actually payed attention to the lyrics, which I hadn’t done until today, this song just sounded like a black guy trying to get with girls with big… behinds. I would have continued to think this but I found the one Youtube comment that’s actually worth reading. “This is actually quite a good song for a lot of women to boost their self-esteem. Hear me out – he raps about Cosmo calling women with curves fat and how he is apparently not down with that.” courtesy of Jibriltz. Upon further exploration I find lyrics like “I’m tired of magazines, sayin’ flat butts are the thing” and “I ain’t talkin’ bout Playboy, ’cause silicone parts are made for toys” Wait wait wait… rap lyrics can actually have meaning?… So he’s saying that flat… rear ended… women aren’t his thing and that he likes a girl with a little, excuse me for using the obvious phrase, junk in the trunk? Huh? So… you mean my first impression was wrong?! How… how is this possible? So a black man rapping actually has socially related lyrics that have implications that endorse acceptance for all different types of people?! Is this man in Congress yet? No, he’s not. Assholes who shut down the government and then get together the next day to talk about the government shut down are in Congress. I’m not saying Sir Mix A Lot is the next incarnation of Shakespeare, I’m just saying he may not be as shallow as a lot of people believe.

Not of that generation!? Fear not, a new proponent of the posterior has arisen! His name is Flo Rida. His single is “Can’t Believe It.” Here’s the video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-WDcpwZqYlU Listen and view at your own discretion. The chorus leaves the same taste in my mouth as “Baby Got Back” but the differences lie in the verses. Consider, for example, the poetic lines “Telling all the girls, all around the world, my last name must be Robin, ‘cause I’m basking in these asses, all thirty flavours keep calling,” or “Ustedes saben quien es quien; Mira salinga con toda esa…; Como tu sabes estoy loco.; pero que bueno que era poco,; Mami mueve los coco.” I don’t know what the hell that second one actually means but judging by the popularity of this song it must be a statement right up with the solution to cold fusion. Lyrics don’t get much better than that (at least not these days). Hold on just a second, I’ve saved the best for last. I’m about to reveal to you one of the closing segments of this song. Please try to contain your excitement, it may be difficult, but please try. “Babu I am bam, baram bam baram babu I am bam, baram bam baram babu I am bam, baram bam baram babu I am bam, baram bam baram.” Wow, if those lyrics don’t speak to you… I don’t know what will. It almost brings tears to my eyes. Please excuse me for a second… *cries uncontrollably*

Ok, *sniffle,* I seem to have collected myself enough to close out this entry. I hope you leave this entry a more educated and evaluative thinker. The first topic shows why we should be skeptical with first impressions and the second shows why we shouldn’t. “Grant, if you present me with conflicting ideas, which one do you truly believe? Why should I listen to your opinion if you don’t know what your opinion is?” I don’t know, and that’s the point. 😀 Basically, I hope this entry, as is my hope with every entry, has spurred you to think more and to behave automatically less. Thank you to everyone who has read my ramblings, which has recently surpassed 1000 views, and may you continue to be Granters. On a final not, I cannot express to you how grateful I am to have you view my works over 1000 times, honestly I started this thinking I’d receive 2 or 3 views on each entry, and that those views would come from family members. I thank each and every one of you and if I could I would deliver that thank you, in person, with a firm handshake and a solid 5 seconds of eye contact (that’s all I can really afford right now.) Thank you. I’m out.

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Monday Mini-Rant: Miley Cyrus

Welcome back ladies and gentleman! I’m not gonna lie, I had this whole entry planned out almost word for word. It was going to be about freshman. How easy it is to spot them. How paranoid they seem to be. How they successfully assimilate themselves into the college experience by at least the second semester. Then come along the VMA’s. Before you ask, no, I did not watch them and would never take time out of my day to view such a shallow awards show. I didn’t even realize they were on until my twitter feed blew up with tweets about Miley Cyrus. I realized long ago that she wasn’t that cute, adorable, likable girl that doubled as Hannah Montana on the Disney Channel. Her haircut is more than enough evidence of that. This clip from the VGA’s though, oh my goodness. For the safety of my readers I will not link the video but if you’re still curious it is not difficult to find. I hope to high heaven that parents realize that this girl is no longer someone their kids should look up to. I’m just gonna say it, MTV should have cut off her performance BEFORE Robin Thicke even came out. I get it, sex sells, but I have a feeling there is less risque content on SKINEMAXE!! Anyone who tuned into this show and wasn’t disgusted is well… I don’t even know what they are. The fact that this level of indecency is on a channel that teens watch disturbs me to no end. I will be the last person to say that I’m perfect but at least I still have some degree of class coursing through my veins. Both sides of this performance were deplorable to  me. The dancing was unacceptable. The lyrics were unacceptable. Miley Cyrus says during one of her lines “we can screw who we want to.” Ok… WHAT?! I realize there are all types of “live and let live” types in the world but why the hell is this line in a top 10 song?! “We can love who we want to” “We can kiss who we want to” and these are just the vanilla lyrics, listen to these next ones. “And everyone in line in the bathroom, trying to get a line in the bathroom.” If I’m not mistaken she’s singing about SNORTING COCAINE AT A PARTY!! Who the hell allows this on the radio?! I am so sick of non existent morals permeating every type of media we are exposed to. I honestly pray to God that this fad passes way before my children come into existence. If my offspring are ostracized because I try to raise them to look down on this type of behavior then I truly will have lost all faith in humanity.

Entry 4: Lyrical Pronunciation and Farmer’s Only

Welcome back for the 4th installment of my regular blog entries.  I struggled a little bit with topics this week but I think I managed to still put out quality topics. That being said, if I continue to struggle I may move my updates to once every two weeks. Please, hold your tears, it’s for your benefit as well as mine. I’m doing this because I care. Now on to the bread and butter!

I’d like to talk a little bit about music. Before you ask, no I’m not going to talk about Taylor Swift, Justin Beiber or Nicki Minaj.  I’m also not going to talk about auto tuning or dub step. I realize that if I did  I could produce an entirely new category solely dedicated to how shitty today’s music is but I’m going to tackle a less talked about subject. Pronunciation. Now before I get into it I know that some styles of music; like screamo, heavy metal and rap, require a certain amount of exposure before you can tell what they’re talking about.  That being said, if your song hits the top 10 of any “current hits” chart we better be able to understand what you’re saying.  I can excuse the random dubstep/Nicki Minaj mash up; but seriously, if you’re at the top for a couple of weeks and the chorus has a line that no one can understand, you need to reconsider your lyrics. One recent song I’ve heard, and that I refuse to find the title for because I can’t understand what the hell they’re singing, has at least 4 different interpretations. During this chorus I can hear: 1.) Sexy loving 2.)Sexy nothing 3.)Sweet loving and last but not least 4.) Sexy oven. Talk about making no sense. Really artist? You’re living on sexy oven? Good Lord learn how to pronounce words in the English language and for Christ’s sake spend a little more time in the recording studio. For all our sake’s. Now I’d like to talk to you all about dating sites. Well, one in particular.

My next topic is one that might be of use to all you lonesome ranchers out there. FarmersOnly.com. The commercial starts off saying that God created farmers on the 8th day. OK I won’t dispute or complain about this too much, the Bible doesn’t say anything about the 8th day.  That being said, God could have created chocolate pooping leprechauns on the 8th day for all we know, but I’ll let it go. The ad continues with the importance of farmers by saying “after all, no farms, no food.” This I won’t dispute, and if you try to we may have an issue. After that the commercial states that on the 9th day the farmer was lonely, so farmersonly.com was created. This dating site is for “small town American’s across the country.” This commercial gets a few things right, mainly that most farming communities have a strong connection to small town America and to Christianity.  But what self-respecting small town American is going to go to a nation wide website to find their soul mate? If I’ve learned one thing while living in rural Minnesota it’s that those who grow up in small towns and plan to use farming as their career do not plan on moving halfway across the country for a girl they “met” on the internet.  Likewise, a small town girl looking for a “simple living” (don’t get me wrong, farming is not simple at all) isn’t going to move 4 states over for an online profile, a couple hundred acres of land, and a combine. Now on to some real humor folks!

Alright well another week is in the bag! Music and Farmers were covered this week. As always if you’ve got any suggestions for topics I’m open to them. Any comments and critiques are also welcome. Thanks for all feedback and views! I hope at least some of you are starting to look forward to my updates. Again any shares, comments, and critiques are greatly appreciated. I hope I brightened at least some of your days! This is RantingGrant signing off!